Building a Happy Nest as a Working Mother

This is the list of all the ways you can find your sanity and your socks in the midst of work, children, home and life in general! Being a mother is no easy job, you hear people tell you this all the time but it’s only when you become one when you realize what it entails. For better or worse, you cannot return those little monsters with receipts attached. Did someone just gasp for even sharing such a thought? Yes, all that judgment makes it all the worse. Below we discuss mental, physical and emotional tactics to building a happy nest for you and your family.

Don’t Let Anyone Put You Down for Your Choices

You are not a bad mother; you wake up each day trying to build a happy nest for your family and go to sleep thinking you’ve failed miserably. Well, you’re not alone. That’s pretty much every parent on the planet, and the guilt trips from those faking it to have it all together only make it worse.

Did you read ‘faking it?’ Yes, you did, and yes they do- fake it. The lady who told you her kids never throw tantrums while you were in the middle of trying to handle a meltdown is either forgetting or well, lying! If they tell you they sacrificed their careers to focus on raising well-behaved children, well good for them. Their choices and decisions have nothing to do with you or your family dynamics.

So be easy on yourself; as much as you’d like to have it all, sometimes it’s alright to be content with just having it all under control, or maybe not even that. We set pretty high standards for ourselves and then get disappointed when those milestones aren’t achieved. So, if you have to opt for a quick peanut butter sandwich instead of meatball and spaghetti prepared from scratch, then that’s totally fine, and healthy too!

Don’t Be a Superwoman

People all around you glorify women who have it all and do it all, all by themselves. But apart from their glorification, you get no special treatment or superpowers to get that work done. It would be amazing to work 30 hours in a day, wouldn’t it? But since that is not possible, it would greatly help to lower your expectations of yourself.  Be a little more realistic and forgiving towards your responsibilities. Ask for help whenever there’s needed. Feel a bit under the weather or want to have a drink with your friends? Call up a reliable babysitter agency and have the night off!

Also divide some chores between your kids and your partner. Building a happy nest is not only your responsibility, so you shouldn’t voluntarily take up the entire burden either!

Quality over Quantity

Here’s the deal. You can spend your each wakeful, and sleepy, moment of your life with your kids in order to build a happy nest for them. But that would also mean dirty dishes in the sink, unpaid bills on the table and a messy, unhappy you. And eventually, all this will affect the kind of relationship you’d have with your kids. You will become frustrated and resentful because none of your other goals are being met. By getting some help, like hiring a trained nanny, you can make sure that your kids are well taken care of, while you do what needs to be done. And this space will also allow you to spend quality time together; because this way, the time you do spend with them will be full of attention and stories and bonding.

Let Them Be Independent

That sinking feeling of dropping your kids off at a day-care or with a babysitter is almost constant. You go through that rollercoaster of emotions almost every day. Well, let us assure you, you’d still be getting that sinking feeling when they move on to college, get their new apartment, get married or almost do anything independently.

That feeling is just fear, anxiety and a little bit of disappointment. Those little bundles of joy who were dependent on you for every little need are learning to spread their wings and fly away, all on their own.

Connect with Other Working Moms

Here’s the great news. You aren’t the only one out there! There are so many of you giving it their all to build a happy nest for themselves and their families. Connecting with other moms will give you a safe space to talk about your daily juggles and struggles. Living in the Digital Age, it is so easy to connect with people of similar interests through social media sites. So, look for some working mother support groups online and get connected!

Don’t Hesitate to Ask for Help

Asking for help does not mean that you have failed; it only means that you need a little support in keeping things together and operational. So, reach out to friends and family whenever you feel a bit overwhelmed. Better yet, call up a cleaning service for help with spring cleaning or a nanny agency to have someone come take care of the kids in the evenings while you hit the gym.

What Does a Happy Nest Mean to You?

Before you apply any of these strategies, you need to understand what a happy nest really means for you. What are your top-most priorities as a working mother? Do you feel passionate about preparing meals for your family yourself? Would you rather spend the weekends with your kids? Raise independent, free-thinking individuals? Don’t want to send them off to a day-care because you think they wouldn’t be well taken care of?

A happy nest could mean several different things to different people. And that’s completely alright. Just because another mother spends hours building fortresses out of cardboard boxes and crafting new projects daily, does not mean that’s what you need to replicate too. Your kids probably wouldn’t remember or care whether the house was always clean, or if their PJ’s are always ironed, but they will definitely remember the laughter and the comfort of a happy, secure family; which only a content, well-rested you can provide.

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