You had spent untold hours searching for a nanny that was the right fit for your family. Your child adores them. The nanny seemed happy. You never really asked, but they always kept turning up to their job, just like you do…….so why would it be any different? Now you have to go back to the drawing board and start the process all over again.
Here’s your chance to make a better choice.
There are many reasons why nannies quit. If you are aware of the most common causes, it may help you strengthen the relationship with your nanny. It will also be easier to avoid having to pick up the pieces after they have gone.
Your relationship with your nanny is vital for your child’s growth and well-being. Not only because you’re setting a great example of how to build strong relationships, but your child may have a close connection with your nanny. You don’t want to disturb that if avoidable.
Some of the reasons nannies quit
Lack of Communication
Nannies quit because communication is the most critical aspect of the nanny-employer relationship. You may love that your nanny is a people pleaser and non-confrontational. Still, these characteristics lead to problems in terms of communication of needs and issues in the long term.
This relationship is based on people from possibly diverse backgrounds, coming together for a shared goal of successfully raising a child or children. Before your relationship begins, you should discuss with your prospective nanny how vital communication is for you. And make it clear that this isn’t just about the daily check-in regarding the children and schedules. They need to be willing to discuss their issues, so disappointment and resentment don’t fester.
When their contract begins, you should make sure the nanny has a safe space for her to share her feelings. Set aside regular time to discuss how their work is going, if there are any issues they feel need addressing.
Job Responsibilities change
Nannies quit because their responsibilities shift. If you start to ask your nanny to do extra jobs or chores around the house without discussing it or compensating them, things will eventually turn sour.
A nanny shouldn’t have to spend 30 minutes cleaning your kitchen first to be able to make breakfast for the children.
If you require your nanny to do extra chores or errands, you should write these clearly into the contract. Never change job responsibilities unexpectedly. You don’t appreciate this happening in your work, so be mindful of it happening to the employees in your home.
Micro-Managing Parents
Nannies quit because of overly intrusive micro-managing. I get it, hiring someone to help you raise your child is complicated. You, as the parent, know your child best and want to make all the decisions for them. But, hiring a nanny means you are entering into a formal partnership and adding another person into the mix. They will most likely have experience dealing with a range of issues, and those are sometimes worth discussing.
Questioning every single decision your nanny makes will create a toxic environment. Giving your nanny freedom to utilize the skills she has and accept minor differences will help your nanny respect you.
Lack of Appreciation
Nannies spend all their day caring for children, which isn’t an easy task. But in between our busy schedules and hectic lives, we often don’t let them know they are valued.
We all like to be noticed for the effort that we put in, especially when it is such essential and priceless work. It doesn’t take much to notice and appreciate your nanny’s contribution to your family.
Isolation
Taking care of children all day, every day, for the most part, is an isolating job. This is especially true if the nanny is live-in. Parents should encourage activities that allow the nannies to establish social circles and gain new experiences such as attending playgroups and library storytelling sessions. Nannies often look forward to taking a walk with the baby, meeting up with friends at the playground, and enjoying the interaction.
Clash of Philosophies on why nannies quit
There will always be areas of difference, particularly around discipline, diet, and sleep. And we all know that consistency is essential for your child’s development. These differences can be averted by establishing your potential nannies’ philosophies at the initial interview. A professional and experienced nanny will be able to concisely verbalize their perspectives and openly discuss and work with you to establish guidelines around these issues.
Make sure you document any expectations into the contract around discipline, diet, and sleep. This way, there is little room for misunderstandings by either party.
Family Dysfunction
Nannies quit because they get stuck in the front-row seat of your relationships. If there is unchecked conflict such as fighting between the parents or bad behavior being consistently ignored without age-appropriate discipline, a professional nanny will choose to leave.
You will find nannies will not be comfortable broaching this issue in your talks. Family instability is a sensitive topic that very few parents like to have critiqued by an ‘outsider.’
Payroll
Tax issues and wages can be complicated. It is essential to make sure you have a signed contract by both parties before hiring. Give your nanny a breakdown of the tax deductions with her payments, so they are abreast of any changes. There are nanny tax specialists that can help you with making sure you compensate your nanny according to your state and federal legislation.
Grass is Greener
You may hire a nanny who agrees to your terms, but they are offered better terms that suit their needs later on. This happens with all jobs. If you have the opportunity, try to renegotiate the terms to make the contract more attractive.
The key to decreasing your odds of having to interview again for another nanny is to keep the communication open and ensure they have the appropriate equipment and resources to do their job correctly. A bonus is to make sure you appreciate them and see them for the wonderful job they are doing at caretaking your child.
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