Kids are like flowers. They need careful nurturing to grow but can also wither quickly if neglected. Parents, especially mothers, have a knack for knowing how to care for their kids- how to accept them, love them, and move them on to their full potential. Many humans live with anger and resentment from their childhood.
The phrase ‘temper tantrum’ is enough to raise the anger of most parents. Most of us have been through at least one or two instances of a child’s explosive anger that resulted in chaos in the household. On top of this, disciplining a child successfully is a hard task. All parents want to discipline their children, and do so effectively, without any negative impact on the child’s psyche.
What Are Children’s Temper Tantrums?
Temper tantrums of kids are expressed through a range of activities such as whining and crying to screaming, kicking, hitting and holding breath. These temper tantrums are equally common in boys and girls and usually occur between the ages of 1 and 3.
These tantrums are a normal part of kids’ development. Some kids have these tantrums frequently while others rarely have any. I have a one year old girl and two and a half year old boy. My girl is very nice and calm, and yes, I feel that she can throw a tantrum on some occasions. My boy, on the other hand, is louder and angrier.
My boy has regular tantrums of anger and crying. He doesn’t have a fussy temperament. He is inquisitive and loves to learn new things. But he cannot control his temper. As he is growing he used to get angry on most of the things such as when you ask him not to do this and that.
Understand Why Children Have Temper Tantrums
After consulting with many child psychologists, I learned and understood how to handle these temper tantrums. As these are part of his normal development process, we should let him experience his emotions. Instead of controlling his emotions, we should control our reactions.
Yes, the parents’ responses play a vital role in helping the tantrum pass in a short time. So as a parent, you have to impress on the child that he is not the only one who is growing. The parent is also growing and capable of setting limits and expectations.
If you think about it you’ll understand that their tantrums for even small things make sense. well, your toddler is in the middle of the deep, winding, and weaving process which will ultimately help them in:-
- Building relationships
- Self- control
- Problem-solving
- Communication
But then you come back to reality and hear the screams. It comes out of nowhere. It’s disturbing and if I’m being honest, it’s also ridiculously annoying.
You want a solution. You need something that will reduce the duration of the screaming, and hopefully minimize the loudness as well. There is no magic button to turn off a rage of anger.
How To Tame Temper Tantrums?
The only motive behind these tantrums of children is that you listen to them and understand what they are saying. This is why kids continue saying Mom, Mom, mom, Mom, Mooomm, until you acknowledge and respond to what they’re trying to say. They will stop saying and start screaming when they find that you’re not paying attention. And they’ll also not stop until they’re satisfied that you get it. You must be thinking about what to do?.
Well, you’ve to listen to them and understand what they are trying to say. Once you get it, you’ve to make them understand that you get their point. Once you make them convinced that you’ve got them, try to say a few words like Sorry dear, I got your point, I’ll do it as it is the right way to do it (and explain ‘Why’ properly).
It is possible that they may start crying again but understand that this is why parenting is challenging. You can convince them through several ways but make sure you do not do something that will raise the tantrum levels.
- Identify the trigger to tantrums & try to minimize them – Usually, kids start their tantrums when they’re tired, hungry, or frustrated. Do not try to make changes in their daily routine instantly. When they demand something that is out of reach or not good for them, try to distract their mind.
- Try to add various activities to their daily routine – Find something that they love to do, and involve them in. Build them a new toy, develop a game that you play together, and add other new activities. When you interact with them in everyday routine, and offer them a lot of different things, they will learn to associate with you positively and enjoy your company.
- Play with them – A tired kid is also very cranky, and irritated. Running around the garden, getting some ball play, anything that will make them happy and ultimately get rid of their crankiness. Shake a leg and add lots of fun with them, and do not get irritated in any way.
The tantrums will recede, your baby will calm down, and eventually he will come out of this state. Toddlers need to learn how to react to frustration and disappointment, and part of that learning will come in their own good times as your child matures. If your one child rarely shows tantrums and the other one is prone to frequent tantrums, don’t worry, don’t compare them, he’ll also grow and become a rational adult.
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