One of the most important and difficult decisions parents face is to decide which parenting style will be best for their child. Whether you want to raise a strong, resilient, well-adjusted child or one who is well behaved and listens to you without resistance, there are many things to think about before selecting a particular style of parenting. Studies have found that parents of children with the four different styles have had significantly different rates of engagement behaviors in their children.
The four parenting styles: Authoritarian, Authoritative, Permissive, Uninvolved.
- Authoritarian- This style of parenting places high value on children’s obedience and respect for their parents. The parent is the ultimate authority. They expect their child to tell the truth, obey rules, behave properly, and not misbehave. Disobedience results to punishment.
- Authoritative- This style of parenting is very similar to authoritarian parenting in that there are still high standards of behavior for children; however, parents using authoritative parenting are more responsive to their child’s needs. They tend to be warm and nurturing parents. They want their child to be healthy and psychologically secure rather than obedient or well-behaved.
- Permissive- A parent using a permissive style is a lenient, uncritical, tolerant parent. They place few demands or expectations on their child. Permissive parents have few rules and are tolerant of misbehavior. The parents don’t emphasize telling the truth and obedience because they do not set any standards to live up to.
- Uninvolved- This parenting style is sometimes called neglectful parenting or negligent parenting because the parents pay so little attention to their children that it can be considered neglectful. The parent does not establish high expectations for their children. They let them run wild with little guidance or supervision from the parent.
Parenting styles are quite important because they set the stage for how children will develop into adults. Some historians believe that the forefathers of America actively chose parenting styles that would positively affect future generations. Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, and John Adams were all very influential in the United States’ development as a nation.
Which parenting technique is better? Authoritarian, Authoritative, Permissive, or Uninvolved?
Authoritarian parents are tough but fair. They are rigid in their demands for respect and obedience from their children while being strict with the rules in the home. Their desires are to have their children comply with the basic demands of life. Also, to fit into society by following rules, and show respect for authority. The children come first in authoritarian parents’ minds.
Authoritative parents are warm but firm. They believe that both compliance to family decisions and obedience to others is necessary for a well-functioning child to become a good person in society. They are very clear about what they expect of their children. But for them, it is more important than their child feels good about themselves, is secure in themselves and their relationships, and is able to function well in society. These parents use firm authority to get their way.
Permissive parents are lax in their demands for respect and obedience from children. They believe that children should be treated with love and affection so long as they follow the rules in the home. They do not live up to their responsibilities in the home, which often causes the children to turn towards other adults for guidance or approval outside of the home when there aren’t enough rules or expectations for them at home when they are growing up. Uninvolved parents do not provide a clear system of rules and expectations for their children. This allows them to grow up in any way they choose. They tend to be neglectful in the care of their children. This leads to a child having problems at school or with peer relationships later in life. They are lenient in who is allowed in the home and what is allowed within the family setting.
Why should we care about these parenting styles?
1) Authoritarian- Authoritarian parenting creates a lack of respect for others, which can lead to a negative view of people who don’t fit into the child’s worldview. They don’t usually realize that most people are not like their parents.
2) Authoritative- Authoritative parents are the most effective type of parenting in raising happy, healthy children. They are across the board in their treatment of family members, clear in establishing rules and consequences. They make children feel good about themselves for following through on parental instructions. These children are happier, healthier, and better adjusted than others who do not receive this type of parenting.
3) Permissive- These parents tend to spoil their children because they don’t set any rules or expectations for them while they grow up. Without enough structure, while growing up, these children often have problems with school or peer relationships later in life. They are more likely to have problems with drug or alcohol abuse because they don’t have any rules in their life.
4) Uninvolved- These parents are often neglectful in their care of their children. They avoid setting clear rules for children, which leads to them being left to their own devices while they grow up. Children can become destructive and dangerous if not directly supervised by an adult who will not accept the child’s behavior.
If you ask people which parenting style is better, they will most likely say authoritarian or authoritative. The two parenting styles that are considered best are authoritarian and authoritative.
Authoritarian raises children who feel they have to follow the rules because it’s the expectation from them. They grow up following other people’s wishes without putting up their own opinions, which can be very damaging in society. They won’t know how to make their feelings known without fear of reprisal. These children grow up with many conflicts in relationships because they don’t learn how to resolve problems or differences with other people. They are often followers without really learning how to participate in groups or society at large.
Conclusion-
Authoritative and authoritarian parenting styles are the two most effective kinds of parenting in raising children who are happy, healthy, and well adjusted.
