Sexuality education is something that every parent is very uneasy about.

It is the conversation they tend to avoid or delay as much as possible, if they can.

But the fact is that parents have to talk about it with their children.

There are several reasons for this, all of which makes it all the more important that parents become proactive in their approach. 

The most important reasons for this are:

Media Exposure –

There is a reason why a lot of people criticize the media. There is more sex in the media than ever before. It has become prevalent everywhere you turn, whether television, newspapers, movies, etc.
Why is this so?
Sex sells. It is one of the oldest strategies of advertising. Sprinkling sexual undertones on anything is enough to grab people’s attention.
While this may be fine for adults, that isn’t going to be the case for a child. If anything, they are only going to be left shocked and confused about what they just saw. 

Exposure Through Social Circle –

 A lot of children learn about sex the first time through friends and others in their social circle.
It is something which happens through the process known as ‘grapevine’, where information gets passed around from one person to another, often very quickly.
Parents can pretend that it’s not happening, but the fact is that it is. 

Natural Curiosity – 

Children are curious by nature. You might think that they aren’t, but that isn’t the case. On the contrary, the reality is that your child is a curious creature, just like everyone else at their age.
This curious nature of children will make them question, sooner or later, their own origins.

If this is permitted to happen, there is every possibility that your child may not get the right view about the subject.

Due to these reasons, it is very important that you give your child a good understanding on what it’s all about. But this is easier said than done.

When it comes to actually talking to children about sex, parents will begin to hesitate. Quite often, the first thing on their mind is for the subject to be ‘outsourced’ to the schools that their children attend. They tend to be of the opinion that if children learn about the world at school, sexuality should be included in the syllabus as well.

This belief is, in fact, one of the driving forces behind sexuality education in schools. Given that many parents are reluctant to talk about the subject, they choose to have teachers talk about sexuality education, rather than to do it by themselves.

There are a few reasons for this.

The main reasons for this are given below:

 1.) The Idea That It Is a ‘Dirty’ Topic

Sex is a rather ‘dirty’ topic at face value. This is after all, the way that society treats it and has been treating it for a very long time.

2.) Not Knowing the Right Way

As much as parents know what to talk about, the right way is a different story.

Most parents simply don’t; know where to start with sexuality education. Most schools don’t understand the approach to take to help their children understand what it’s all about.

There are certainly a multitude of approaches to deal with sexuality education. One suitable strategy for the same is given in the next section. F

Finding a Starting Point

Several things need to be taken into account before you can begin imparting sexuality education to your child.

The first thing to do in this regard will be to figure out what exactly they have learned about sexuality education. And there is no better way to do it than to look at your own approaches towards sexuality education. Some of the most important ones are:

• Spend some time and remember how you had approached sexuality education when your children were around. Did you react positively? Or did you try to avoid it? Did you give your children the impression that it was a subject to be avoided or simply didn’t exist?

• Try to find out all the avenues of exposure that your child has had towards sexuality education. Among them are sources like friends, relatives, television, magazines, etc.

• Monitor your child’s access to media. Given that the media is one of the biggest sources of information about sex, it is important that you know what your child is getting exposed to. This includes everything from television to internet. The latter is especially important given that it is a major source of porn and other sexual content.
• Talk to your child directly and ask them what they know about sexuality education. Approach the subject in a very casual way and with an air of friendliness, so that they know you are approachable.
  • What did you learn about sexuality education when you were a child?
  • Were you able to discuss about the subject with an adult and what helped to build this level of trust?
  • What were the most important details about sexuality that you wanted to know about and how early did you want these answers?
  • If you could have learnt about the subject differently, what would that difference be?
  • As a parent, what would you like your own children to know about the subject, whether it is a conservative approach or a no-holds bar one?

Once you figure out these details, you will be in a better position to explain to your child what it’s all about. This will serve as a foundation that you can use to help them understand the nature of sexuality and everything in between.

Imparting Sexuality Education At Home

By using the foundation you’ve acquired, you can start to impart sexuality education to your children in a positive way.

Since you have a rough idea about what is missing in their minds, and where they have gone wrong, you can take corrective steps wherever necessary.

Among the things you’ll need to talk about are sexual intercourse, gender roles (both traditional and modern), safe sex, STDs, having sex for the first time, etc. Ensure that you teach them what is appropriate for their age. It is a good idea to slowly build up their knowledge as they grow up, rather than doing everything at once.

Last but not the least; let your children know that you are approachable regarding sexuality education. The last thing they need is to feel left out with their own parents. The whole thing will seem awkward but it is something that has to be done.

If not, you will only end up driving away your children to learn about the subject on the streets or other undesirable sources. On the bright side however, it can serve as a way to strengthen family bonding, as the ability to talk about a subject as ‘taboo’ as sex will help in bridging communication and trust gaps.

Also, if you ‘outsource’ sexuality education to schools, children will lose the one-on-one approach they could have got at home. It is simply not possible for teachers when they have multiple children to deal with.

As a whole, know that it will be very difficult and uncomfortable to talk about sexuality education as parents.

But at the same time, it is one of the most important things you’ll ever teach your child. In other words, the best place for sexuality education begins in the home.

Given the nature of sexuality education, your children will be better off if they learn about it from you than elsewhere. It will not only help them to get a healthy understanding of the subject but also an avenue for strengthening family relationships.

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