Separation anxiety is the neurosis of children who are afraid of being separated from their parents or guardians.  The separation removes them from exposure to a person they depend on for emotional support. When a child has this issue, it can cause problems in many aspects of life, including sleep, schoolwork and relationships with peers. As a parent, it is important to understand the reasons behind separation anxiety and how best to approach the problem.

Tips For Handling Child’s Separation Anxiety

It is important to remember that separation anxiety is a developmental problem. It can be helped by working with your child and making sure they have the right support. Here are some tips that can help.

Communication And Practice

The first tip in dealing with separation anxiety involves helping your child learn how to cope. This means spending time with them every day and helping them get used to the idea that it’s okay for them to be without you. So it is important to set aside time every day or every other day to spend with your child. Also, don’t only say it in words, practice being away with them at times too. You can leave them at a relative’s home or at a playdate with their friends, so they get a taste of separation and that it is okay.

Family Support

It also helps to have the support of your family and friends when dealing with this issue. Somebody else who knows what you are going through and can offer support can make it easier to deal. For example, you can involve your parents to take charge of the child sometimes while you are away. This leads the children to have effective support as well as helps them be okay with the fact that separation is not something to worry about.

Soothing Techniques

It can be helpful to introduce your child to some self-soothing techniques, such as taking a bath or running in place. Separation anxiety can also be treated by working closely with the therapist or other professional who specializes in this area. It is important to pick a professional who works with children and stays up to date on the latest separation anxiety research.

Good-Bye Rituals

Another approach that a parent can adopt is to develop good-bye rituals. This means that you always make the goodbyes soft and caring. You can kiss the children and let them know when you’re coming back. You can also assign them some fun tasks for the time you’re going to be away to keep them busy and away from pondering on the thought that you’re not around them. You can also try to talk according to the child’s time table, like using “naptime” instead of “afternoon”.

Develop Understanding

One of the biggest things to remember when dealing with separation anxiety is that it is not uncommon, and it can be treated effectively. It’s important for parents to remember that separation anxiety is a developmental problem that improves with time. The small kids are dependent on their parents for everything and their world revolves around them. When they cannot see their parents constantly, they feel fearful and insecure. So, it is for you as a parent to understand the situation and not to worry about why your child is behaving like this, to be able to help them through.

Some Don’ts For Dealing With Separation Anxiety

Here are some of the practices that uninformed parents might end up doing. You have to understand that if you don’t handle this at an early age in your child’s life, they will have to deal with this problem later in life as well.

• Do not forget to say a warm goodbye or let your child know when you’re going to be back. You can skip the ritual when they have grown accustomed to your absence but up till a time, the practice has to be consistent.
• Don’t make the child conscious of their anxiety or that they are afraid of something. Rather, talk to them in positive phrases. Tell them that they’re going to be okay. Do not say something like, “Are you nervous about being away from me?”
• Do not leave the child while they’re asleep or when they’re distracted, even if you’re leaving for a short duration. It increases their fright. Rather, intimate your child that you’re leaving and will be back. This way, they will know what to expect and will not be shocked with your sudden absence.

There are no standard set of rules or tips that work for all children, but since the psychology of most children is the same, these tips can help you get a hold of their anxiety. Fear of separation is real but it can be curbed with practice and affection.

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