Although this may potentially be an uncomfortable topic to approach, for the welfare of your child, you need to deal with it.
For discipline to work, you need to find a nanny who uses similar discipline strategies to address your child’s behavior. Let’s be honest, your nanny is at times a proxy parent. You need your child to be exposed to consistency in approaches. But sometimes this can be a little tricky.
Following are some of the issues you need to consider and address when hiring any nanny.
Essential Key to A Successful Relationship
The critical element for a successful relationship is to find a nanny who shares the same fundamental beliefs about children’s behavior and discipline practices
Shared core values and beliefs are the cornerstones of all successful relationships. It is a higher indicator of long term success with your family than the nanny’s skill, experience and job competencies.
When disagreements emerge, it’s often the result of conflicting philosophies on how a child should be raised. For the relationship to work well, opinions and attitudes, including discipline, must be in alignment with yours. This should not be overlooked.
The key in discovering a nanny’s approach to discipline is by preparing well-constructed interview questions. Get the applicant to tell you about specific experiences when they demonstrated their method toward discipline. The goal is to uncover if their approach towards discipline is aligned with your own.
Questions to Ask When Interviewing a Nanny
- Tell me about a time you had to discipline a child. What happened and what corrective action did you take?
- Tell me about a time a child in your care had a temper tantrum. What happened, and how did you handle it?
- Tell me about a time when a child did not follow your instructions. How did you manage it?
- Tell me about a time when you had a problem in the past following a parent’s directives regarding discipline? Why didn’t you agree with it?
- Tell me about a time when a parent disagreed with your approach to disciplining their child. What happened and how was it addressed?
- Tell me about a time when you disagreed with a parent’s approach to discipline. Did you address it with the parent?
Before you hire a nanny, you must be clear on your expectations of the type of discipline that will be used. This means setting clear guidelines. If they are indifferent, or unwilling to enforce them, it will lead to conflict during their contract as well as possible confusion for your child.
What if they are too harsh, or too soft?
You hired your nanny as a professional who has skill and talent in caring for children. So, you should be at least open to hearing about what they think is appropriate. There may be some levels of compromise. However, if they are too harsh – yelling, insulting or demeaning or too soft – permissive or a pushover, you need to discuss it directly and immediately with the nanny. If they are unwilling to make changes, it is time to look for a new nanny.
How do I know they are disclosing all information about my child’s behavior?
If you have invested time and money into carefully choosing your nanny, and ensuring the nanny is equipped to give the best care for your child, don’t ruin it with an icy or defensive relationship. You must develop an environment of professional intimacy and trust. The nanny should feel comfortable bringing all challenges, questions and concerns to you.
Ensure you have excellent communication with the nanny, so they feel comfortable opening up. Regularly schedule time together, without interruption, to speak in person. Listen, solve problems, make decisions and create an environment where your employees feel heard. You need to develop open and honest conversations about what is happening in your child’s life – including any discipline or behavior issue.
How can we work together to address specific behavior problems?
Make sure you sit down together and decide on what issues need to be consulted on. Whether you just want to hear about the significant issues like hitting and aggression, or you are interested in all behavior issues.
Set the ground rules and give the nanny clear instructions on how things are to be addressed and corrected. Use clear expectations and consequences and consistent enforcement and praising of positive behavior.
In general, you will find a professional nanny is willing to discuss the discipline expectations of the parent and follow through accordingly. They are aware of their role in being consistent across the board to ensure there is no confusion with the families expectations or standards in discipline.
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