From losing friends to dealing with the stigma of mental illness, depression can be a heavy load for any child to carry. But one of the most important things you can do as a parent or caregiver is not let them bear it alone. With that in mind, here are some dos and don’ts for helping your child with depression:
Do:
-Encourage them to talk about their feelings and problems.
-Let them know it’s not their fault they feel this way.
-Answer any questions or worries they may have about suicide. Do not:
-Warn them about the dangers of suicide.
-Ask them if they are thinking about killing themselves.
-Talk to them about how they feel or what their problem is.
-Ignore their feelings or redirect them on to other more positive things, like hobbies, friends, school… anything but their depression.
-Make promises that you will ‘make it ok’ or that you will ‘fix’ their problems. Offer help if they experience bad days. This may make them feel better temporarily but only puts some pressure on yourself to fix it and does not solve the problem for your child.
Don’t:
-Minimize their feelings or tell them to stop being depressed.
-Criticize them for being depressed. It makes it seem like you do not care about their feelings and is a very hurtful thing to say.
-Tell them to ‘snap out of it or that they shouldn’t feel the way they feel. This will make them feel guilty and horrible about themselves for having these feelings. It will only make the depression worse.
-Believe that depression will go away on its own, even with treatment. -Ignore their desires to commit suicide.
-Believe that a child will never commit suicide.
It is important to note that not all signs of depression in kids are going to be the same. This is especially with different age groups. From a young age, you should start teaching your children about moods and feelings. This will help them to become more aware of when they feel depressed and how it affects them emotionally. But also, give them an outlet for their feelings when they do feel this way. By being open about your own feelings around your child from an early age, you are making it easier for them to talk about how they feel as well. Often parents and caregivers believe that depression should be treated as though it were a physical illness. It can, at times, be just as crippling. This is not always the case though, especially with younger sufferers.
The difference between depression and other illnesses is that people with these kinds of conditions typically know what they are feeling. They may know that they are not able to control this problem. However, a child who is depressed doesn’t necessarily know this and often times has no idea that there is anything wrong with them at all.
There Are Two Types Of Depression: Situational And Endogenous
Situational depression is something that a person experiences because of a stressful event or situation. Ex: The recent death of a family member, a breakup with a significant other, job loss, etc. Endogenous depression is not related to any kind of stress and is often coupled with medical conditions that need to be treated. Just because your child isn’t feeling well doesn’t mean they are depressed, but if their feelings don’t change in the amount of time usually expected when they come down from something such as school or when they get home from playing outside, it may be time for them to see the doctor and have their mental health checked out.
It is important for parents and caregivers to not underestimate the amount of sadness, anger, and rebellion that is comes with the depression. It is also vital to be aware of dangerous behaviors like self-harm or suicidal thoughts. When treating children with depression, it may seem easier if they are able to see someone face to face, rather than through the internet. However, there are many people out there who can help your child when it comes to mental health issues like depression by posting relatable content online. Children with depression can be difficult to deal with, but, educating yourself and your child about the illness will make it a lot easier to manage in the long run. By making sure your child knows that you care and understand, they will feel a lot more comfortable sharing their feelings and thoughts when they are feeling depressed.
Having a child with teenage depression is not easy for any family member to deal with. It can have negative effects on everyone in the family including siblings, parents, teachers, and friends. Unfortunately, not all teenagers who suffer from depression or possibly bipolar disorder are willing or even able to see a therapist.
If you have a teenager who is going through depression here are five ways you can help them:
- Listen
Encourage your teenager to talk about their feelings with you. Even if it seems like they don’t want to hear your advice, just let them know you are there. Be willing to listen. They might need to rant and rave about how unfair the world is or how they can’t take it anymore. Just be there for them and try not to argue with them or give advice unless they ask for it. Listening will help them feel more connected to you which will improve your relationship.
- Don’t avoid them
If you don’t talk to your teenager because you are scared of what they might say or do, don’t. Also, if you have been avoiding them because you feel hurt by something they said or did, it is important that you try to fix the relationship before it gets any worse. Lastly, if your teenager feels like no one cares about them, they have a harder time dealing with their depression.
- Take care of yourself
Dealing with a depressed teenager can be very stressful and draining on a caregiver. If you are not healthy yourself it is harder for you to take care of your teenager especially if they are asking for help. When dealing with a depressed teenager, the best thing that you can do is to take care of yourself. Take time breaks from work or school. If you have a partner, deal with the stress of your relationship as well as the one with your teenager too. Try to avoid those stressful situations that can make depression worse.
- Don’t avoid talking about depression
When it comes to talking about depression or mental health issues, many parents and caregivers avoid it because they feel like they will say something wrong. However, if you don’t talk about it at all, your teenager will keep their feelings to themselves and may even lead to things like self-harm or suicide. Talking about depression and mental health issues is important, even if you may not think that you can help your teenager. It is important to listen and talk to them as much as possible.
- Be there for your teenager
If they do seek professional help and medication it becomes much easier for someone to take care of them. This applies to any kind of treatment, even if it is just for therapy, drugs, or therapy. Your teenager might need you more than they know. A caregiver or parent who is there to support them during this time can help them feel less alone. Help them with any problems that they may be having with medications.
If you are dealing with depression in your teenage child it might be hard, but there are ways that you can cope and work through it with your child. Try to avoid making the situation worse by avoiding your child or avoiding their positive messages. Try not to argue about the situation because this will make them feel like no one cares about them. It can make the depression worse. Show them that you care by listening, taking care of yourself as well as taking care of your child. Be there for them and support them as much as possible.
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